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Rachelle

Bio We rise by lifting others.

Website http://thementalhealthmomma.blogspot.com/

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image by Rachelle (@mentalhealthmommablog) with caption : "You know what I hate about living with mental illness the most...? It’s the not being able to accurately decipher realit" - 1755941304841349054
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You know what I hate about living with mental illness the most...? It’s the not being able to accurately decipher reality from illness. It’s feeling light headed and not knowing if something is physically wrong or if it’s panic/anxiety. It’s feeling tightness in my chest and not knowing if I am having a heart attack or a panic attack. And what’s worse, is that everyone else chalks it up to panic/anxiety, so I am left wondering if some huge medical issue is being looked over, or if in fact it was “just my anxiety”... For me, my panic and anxiety disorders manifest very physically. I also suffer from hypochondria. If you hand me an apple and tell me it’s a special kind that burns your skin, my skin is going to start burning. If you give me a pill that is going to make my hands tingle, my hands will tingle the second it touches my tongue. So how do I know what’s real and what’s not? I have no true way to decipher this... . . . .

image by Rachelle (@mentalhealthmommablog) with caption : "I am not here to tell you how to live. I am not here to sell you some magical pill that will cure your depression while " - 1744534204304395764
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I am not here to tell you how to live. I am not here to sell you some magical pill that will cure your depression while simultaneously giving you a rockin bod. I am not here for likes. I am not here for followers. I am not here for a pity party. I’ll tell you why I am here. I am here for you. I am here with hopes that just ONE person will read my posts and nod their head and think “I’m not alone. I’m not the only one.” I am here to be open and vulnerable, because the stigma against mental illness needs to end. I am here to tell you that I have been to hell and back, and that I survived, and so will you. I am here to tell you that the sun will come, and it will be all right. . . . .

image by Rachelle (@mentalhealthmommablog) with caption : "My reminder to keep going. My reminder to pause, breathe, and move forward. My reminder that beauty can still flourish i" - 1743826652633615366
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My reminder to keep going. My reminder to pause, breathe, and move forward. My reminder that beauty can still flourish in muddy waters. My reminder like life isn’t black and white. My reminder to think outside of the box, to color outside of the lines. Show me your reminder to keep going. . . . . .

image by Rachelle (@mentalhealthmommablog) with caption : "Quick pity party: 
You know what’s really shit? Is that I should be living my best life right now. I am young. I have a " - 1729372537644498877
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Quick pity party: You know what’s really shit? Is that I should be living my best life right now. I am young. I have a beautiful little family, a great job, and amazing friends. I’m blessed beyond belief with a roof over my head, food in my fridge, amazing medical care. I have so much to be grateful for, and I really truly am. But mental illness doesn’t care what you have. Or don’t have. It doesn’t care if you are old or young. It doesn’t care if you’re generally doing okay in every other area of your life. So instead of fully immersing and enjoying this life I have worked so hard for, I spend most of my days just fighting to survive. . . . . .

image by Rachelle (@mentalhealthmommablog) with caption : "Ya know... this is so true. And I feel like we often take our diagnoses on as part of our identity. We personalize our d" - 1712596240364381262
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Ya know... this is so true. And I feel like we often take our diagnoses on as part of our identity. We personalize our diagnoses and give it power over who we are. We often take ownership of it. “my anxiety” “my depression”... and as much as we do it to ourselves, others do it to us as well. Someone finds out you have an illness and suddenly that’s who you are. “That depressed Mom.” “That lady with anxiety”... and you know what, I really resent that. I am more than that. You are more than that. You are not “that depressed person.” You are a human, with more to offer the world than your diagnoses. I refuse to continue to take ownership of these illnesses any longer. I refuse to have anxiety, panic, and depression as part of my identity any longer. Because I am more than my diagnoses. And so are you. Let’s start healing by taking back who we really are. Underneath the diagnoses, underneath the medication, the bad days, the breakdowns... we are more. ❤️ . . . . .

image by Rachelle (@mentalhealthmommablog) with caption : "I will. Just watch me. I will overcome this battle. I will win. I will keep fighting until victory prevails. I will get " - 1698885130515650733
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I will. Just watch me. I will overcome this battle. I will win. I will keep fighting until victory prevails. I will get knocked down and stand right back up. I will laugh in the darkness and thrive in the light. I will stand face to face with my demons and watch them run the other way. I will win. I will. Just watch me. . . . .

image by Rachelle (@mentalhealthmommablog) with caption : "I feel like I am losing it. Whatever “it” is... I still am not quite sure. This past month has been a blur. So much, yet" - 1694774538406284955
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I feel like I am losing it. Whatever “it” is... I still am not quite sure. This past month has been a blur. So much, yet so little has happened. The holidays have completely messed up my perfectly (and very carefully) structured life. I still have yet to get back into my normal routines. The chaos has spun me out of control and I find myself more desperate than normal. Desperate to stop thinking, stop feeling. To be numb. I want to turn off my brain. I want to slip away to someplace quiet. I just want peace. This photo is currently the wall paper on my phone, and every time I look at it, my heart swells with yearning. To just be one with the ocean, and nature. The ocean has always had my heart. It’s the only place I ever feel completely calm and content. I can see the ocean from my bedroom window. I can see it from my office. Literally no more than a hop across the street, yet it’s been months since I walked along the shore. I think that will be on my to-do list... along with the other ten million things I need to try on my search for peace. . . . .

image by Rachelle (@mentalhealthmommablog) with caption : "I feel like the more I talk about my anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, the more I find others who are struggling a" - 1684438049323710211
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I feel like the more I talk about my anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, the more I find others who are struggling as well. I am finding it so incredibly common to have peers, friends, family members telling me about their own battles. Telling me that they struggle with panic attacks. Telling me that they take medication too. It’s oddly comforting to me, to know that not only are people accepting of my illnesses, but that people can empathize with me. Obviously I’m not so self absorbed that I think I am the only person that deals with mental illness, but a lot of times it’s hard to remember that you are not alone. When you open up to others, you just might be surprised at how not alone you are. . . . . .

image by Rachelle (@mentalhealthmommablog) with caption : "This is NOT a foodie post. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A FOODIE POST. This is a post about bravery, impromptu outings, shuttin" - 1672186695997771793
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This is NOT a foodie post. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A FOODIE POST. This is a post about bravery, impromptu outings, shutting down fears and opening up the opportunity to make memories with the people I love the most. A year ago, you couldn’t have paid me to leave my safe little island, throw my family in the car and head out for a day in the city. But a year ago I was a different woman that I am today. I was a woman who was scared of everything. I wouldn’t even eat at new restaurants because I was scared I could be allergic to some weird ingredient in their food. I had such an intense fear about being on the freeway that I would burst into tears anytime I saw brake lights. I pretty much stopped living because I was so scared of everything. I was merely surviving. Now that’s not to say I don’t still get anxious, or have weird irrational fears, but I try really hard to not let those fears control my choice to LIVE. To make memories with my husband and daughter. To have new experiences. It’s been a hard road, and I still have yet to reach the end of it, but baby steps are key to growth. This day started with panic attacks and me being curled up in bed, and it’s ending it’s a full heart. These are the days that keep me going. ❤️ . . . . . . .

image by Rachelle (@mentalhealthmommablog) with caption : "Something I have come to realize about the world, is that hurting people, hurt people. When we are hurting, down in the " - 1669799070427180829
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Something I have come to realize about the world, is that hurting people, hurt people. When we are hurting, down in the dumps, angry, sad, frustrated, we often direct that energy to those around us. Whether we mean to or not, often times when we are hurting, we hurt others. So knowing that, acknowledging that, I have tried to end that cycle by making my hurt, about me. I drop my pride and find a way to lift those around me. And what do ya know, I too, am lifted. Try it. I bet you'll like it. We rise, by lifting others. . . . . .

image by Rachelle (@mentalhealthmommablog) with caption : "I’m not sure why, but I am having the hardest time getting into the holiday spirit. Normally, even in my deepest depress" - 1666960907576912455
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I’m not sure why, but I am having the hardest time getting into the holiday spirit. Normally, even in my deepest depression, I am still excited for Christmas and enjoy all of the traditions. But this year, I feel like I have just been going through the motions. Nothing feels magical. I think a huge part of that is due to not seeing our families this Christmas, but even then, I’m still having a hard time finding joy. The more I think about it, the more I am bothered by my lack of desire to be involved. Maybe as the countdown gets closer, I will feel more excited. But right now, I kinda just want to sleep through to spring. 😪 . . . . . .

image by Rachelle (@mentalhealthmommablog) with caption : "Hi guys. It's been a while. I've been MIA because I literally just can't. Yep. I said it. That's where I am at lately. T" - 1652673816030523496
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Hi guys. It's been a while. I've been MIA because I literally just can't. Yep. I said it. That's where I am at lately. Tonight is especially awful and my normally paralyzing anxiety has got me jumping out of my skin and I feel like I need a release. So here I am, typing a blubbering mess in the caption of a photo completely unrelated to anything and everything I need to say. I have been having some health issues and it's causing my already high anxiety levels to be extra out of control. But I have been bottling it all up. Keeping calm and collected on the outside while my insides are screaming. This isn't my normal MO. I am a big proponent of being honest with your feelings to yourself and others. But lately, it's all just felt like too much. So keeping it in has somehow been less emotionally taxing. But now I'm at this point where I feel like I'm going to explode. I want to rip my skin off and get out of this body of mine. I feel like my heart is going to beat itself right out of my chest. I'm cold and hot, and nauseated and hungry and tired and energetic all at the same time. I want to be held but I don't want to be touched. I want silence but I don't want to be alone. Nothing feels right. Nothing feels normal. Even my abnormal version of normal, feels far away and out of reach. I'm functioning off anxiety medication and jokes these days. Jokes are a good way to hide the pain and stress for me. But really, I just want to scream and cry. Ugh. I told you this was going to be a blubbering mess of a post. There ya have it. This is me right now. A blubbering hot mess of a woman who's barely holding her body and mind in one piece. . . . . .

image by Rachelle (@mentalhealthmommablog) with caption : "I can't really find the words for how I felt when I was taking this photo. How I felt standing at the top of a mountain." - 1642525425124338982
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I can't really find the words for how I felt when I was taking this photo. How I felt standing at the top of a mountain. Feeling so small, so insignificant, but so very lucky to witness such breathtaking views. I spend a lot of time inside my head. Sometimes that place can be really awful, overwhelming, and full of despair. It is not easy for me to live in the moment. To truly experience the beauty that surrounds me. But I remember standing here, at the top of Mount Constitution, and just thinking "Damn... what a beautiful world." As someone who battles with anxiety and depression, I don't always get out of my head long enough to really live in the moment. But the more I practice mindfulness, the more often I find myself being capable of making a conscious decision to come out of my head, and step into the space I am in... and stay there. I don't always stay for long, but...baby steps. If you want to become more aware, and less anxious, check out @headspace. It has helped me immensely over the last two years. You won't regret it. . . . . . .

image by Rachelle (@mentalhealthmommablog) with caption : "All of them. The mom. The wife. The daughter. The sister. The friend. The coworker. The employee. The cook. The driver. " - 1637224007781884496
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All of them. The mom. The wife. The daughter. The sister. The friend. The coworker. The employee. The cook. The driver. The baker. The fixer of broken hearts. The mender of booboos. The accountant. The laundress. The maid. The entertainer. The peace keeper. The finder of lost toys. The veterinarian. All of them. All of these women in me. Are. Tired. My soul is tired. I'm worn to the core. Yet I keep on, keeping on. Because that's what women do. We don't stop. We don't give up. We run ourselves into the ground until there is nothing left but remnants of who we used to be. So frail that if the wind blows, we will get carried away with the breeze. Oh wouldn't that be a vacation though? All of the women in me, are tired. . . . . . .

image by Rachelle (@mentalhealthmommablog) with caption : "I didn't want to be this mom. I didn't want to be this wife. I didn't want to be this woman. But I am. I am of the 1 in " - 1635212566803621819
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I didn't want to be this mom. I didn't want to be this wife. I didn't want to be this woman. But I am. I am of the 1 in 6 Americans who take psychiatric medications. I am one of 40 million adults in the US who have an Anxiety or Panic disorder. This is my battle. This is my mountain. And some days, the trek to the top seems impossible, and others, it's easy walking. But no matter what, I know I'm not alone. I have a team of medical and health professionals supporting me through my journey. I have family and friends who stand by my side. And there are 40 million other Americans who know my struggle. If there was ever a battle to be fought, and a war to be won, I say I've got a pretty damn good chance at victory. . . . . .

image by Rachelle (@mentalhealthmommablog) with caption : "While the majority of my posts tend to be more about anxiety and depression, I feel it's time to do my first every body " - 1630037205786656172
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While the majority of my posts tend to be more about anxiety and depression, I feel it's time to do my first every body positive post. Because really, self confidence is a huge part of mental health. I LOVE this picture of me and my daughter. But this is the first time I am posting it on the internet for the world to see. I have held myself back because I am so self conscious about how my body looks right now. But I am learning to love my body no matter what the scale says. I am learning to love my body even with the rolls, jiggly parts, and stretch marks. My entire life I have been tiny. I literally had never been self conscious of the shape or size of my body until after I had my daughter. And now I am constantly worried about it, but the past few weeks, I am just learning to love my body where it's at. I birthed a child, I work, I take care of a household. I am beating depression and anxiety, and dealing with physical illness. And my body is still going. I get up everyday and go. It allows me to hold my daughter in my arms. It allows me to cook, and clean. It allows me to go hiking and camping. It allows me to slow dance in the kitchen with my husband. It's not "picture perfect". I have rolls. I weigh a little more than I should. My jeans aren't always comfortable. But my body is doing exactly what it should be doing. Being a body. Getting me from point A to point B and embracing my loved ones. And that's pretty cool if you ask me. So here is me. Enjoying life with my daughter in a completely candid moment, rolls and all. . . . . .

image by Rachelle (@mentalhealthmommablog) with caption : "I've always felt this need to be "prepared" for anything. Prepared for the worst case scenario. I remember as a child, t" - 1627267477536159425
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I've always felt this need to be "prepared" for anything. Prepared for the worst case scenario. I remember as a child, there was a time when I actually packed a bag full of clothes and sentiments and stashed it behind my bed just in case there was a fire. I thought I would grab it on my way out and then I would have stuff with me if the house ever burned down. I keep non-perishable snacks and first aid kits in my car year round. In the winter I keep coats and blankets in the trunk too. JUST IN CASE. Just in case what? I have no idea. But I like to be prepared. But sometimes that desire to be ready for anything, inhibits my ability to LIVE my life. A few weeks ago we went on a hike, and I grabbed all of my usual "just in case", items. First aid kit, snacks, and an inhaler I haven't used in YEARS. Just in case I had an asthma attack. Even though I've NEVER had one. Then halfway through our hike I started panicking. I told my husband we had to turn around and go back home. Immediately. He asked why. I told him I forgot the mace. WHAT IF WE RAN INTO A MOUNTAIN LION?! He asked if there was even mountain lions in the area. I actually had no clue if there was or not. But... WHAT IF?! My heart was racing, I started crying. I suddenly could hear every rustle of leaves. But I had a choice. I could live in fear, or I could finish this beautiful hike with my family. I am so glad to say that I chose to move forward. While the concern of mountain lions isn't exactly irrational, my reaction to the idea was. And that is for me, what anxiety does to us. It takes a rational fear and responds with an irrational reaction. But when you take a moment to step back and recognize that your reaction is your choice, it really helps put things into perspective. It's not always easy. In fact, it's REALLY hard, and it's not often I find myself making the decision to ignore the fears and move forward anyway. But when I do, holy smokes! It's an amazing feeling! I felt so brave at the end of this hike. I kicked ass, faced a fear and succeeded in what I had set out to do! And what an amazing feeling that is. . . . . . .